Remember when you were a teenager and the tiniest bit of communication between you and your crush would send your blood rushing and your heart pounding? If you’re anything like me, there was nothing you looked forward to more in your day than just the slightest contact. It didn’t matter if it was a conversation about whatever mundane subject or even just the simple act of exchanging looks, those tiny things were enough to make (or break) your day. I thought those days were long gone for me, but no, I found myself re-visiting those feelings again and they were as wonderful as I remembered them to be. Except for the having a husband and 3 kids part. Nothing will burst your daydreaming bubble faster than remembering there’s laundry waiting for you at home and homework that requires Mom’s help.  

I couldn’t escape my reality but I could take breaks from it and that’s exactly what I did. I couldn’t wait to get to work in the mornings. While Ray and I didn’t work in close proximity, just knowing that at any moment there could possibly be a call (full of flirting and compliments), (sometimes naughty) email or text from him was enough to keep me happy and on my toes. We decided it would be best to communicate only during working hours. I didn’t want to think about Ray while I was with my husband and kids, but as much as I tried to keep him off my mind while at home, it was near impossible. Thoughts of him consumed me at ALL times. I would replay our conversations in my head. He started referencing specific songs and lyrics that reminded him of me so of course those were the songs that would play as soon as I got in my car (with my family), I found myself constantly distracted and wanting needing more of Ray.

I thought I was doing a good job acting normal, but soon people began to take notice that there was something different about me. There was no denying that I was in a better mood, everybody noticed the change. Well, everyone except my husband. We were never seen together at work really, I would even go through the trouble of taking Ray’s calls in the bathroom to ensure that nobody would overhear anything and realize what we were up to. I looked forward to our occasional lunch dates (more like make out sessions in a car filled with sexual tension) but our opposing schedules made it hard to see each other as frequently as we would’ve liked, maybe that was for the best. Between Ray constantly listing all the things he wanted to do to my body and my constantly thinking of everything I wanted Ray to do to my body, it was only a matter of time. I can’t deny that we were both enjoying acting like teenagers, the stolen moments, the passionate kissing in the car, but the reality was that we were well aware that we were a long way from being teenagers, instead we were crazy adults that had entered dangerous territory and were loving every minute of it.


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